New Year

I'm sitting in NC thinking and pondering the coming year. My husband has graciously and most compassionatly allowed me this trip to visit Kellie and to be alone. The events coming up in our lives will most certainly not offer this kind of opportunity and so I'm trying to make the most of my time but thinking diligently about our future and what to do about it.

I'm at such a crossroads in life right now. I had determined that I would pursue a degree in art education. I had set a course and for hte last 3 weeks have worried and stewed over the transfer of that plan to a University with 30000 students. I figured up a schedule for the spring and if I go with the art classes (of which I have only two choices and both are necessary for my degree) I will go Mon and Wed from around 9 in the morning until about 6 when I would get home. I also need a class that I can fit in there but that would give me a Fri class as well (only one) so i would make the drive on Fri for a 50 minute class. The other option is to pursue a major in English with a concentration in something like creative writing or language arts and gain a secondary ed minor, along with this I would like to also be certified in french although I'm not sure how I would manage it. The schedule for the spring would be more like from 9 until 3:30 Tues and Thurs. I could take my children to school everyday. I could be home for dinner every night and have 3 days a week to study. I could even put Wesley in a M/wed program so I could have those days to work at home or work out a trade with someone so I could have one day at home to work. All in all the english program is looking much more feasible, cheaper, easier, in short...doable. How do I reconcile that with the course I chose last summer? How do I decide what would be the best interest of the Lord now after I feel I have already been led to the thing that he wants for me? The drawing and design courses are the last big lab classes I have, then my schedule would be much more relaxed. Also, the act of making art is an enormous mental and emotional strain. It comes from a place of anxiety and frustration. I havent' figured out if that's part of the learning process and the challenge I'm being asked to face? My writing ability is a talent, one I've had since early childhood. It is fulfilling and satisfying in every way, with reading included. So I'll be off to pray diligently and find out if I can pursue the english course!