Treading water

So, I'm keepin my head up just kind of trying to stay above the surface and....well let's just say an eight tentacled beast came and ripped me down. The eight tentacles would be: two papers and an exam due tomorrow and Mon respectively, a household of six (I include myself because if I don't who will?), a baby shower that I am participating in, also tomorrow, and a garden, house, car, etc that needs care and attention (ok so that' s more than eight but I don't know of any thousand tentacled animals). Not to mention VT, neighbors to visit, scriptures to study blah, blah, blah. Anyone ever feel like they are just not focused? Can you say, "Mimi has wicked ADD this week" I should be working on my paper right now. It about women and how the name themselves, what roles they choose and what roles are forced upon them. Somehow this ties in to my life but I can't sort it all out. I can't even make connections, I'm so tired. In my long list, which is good, better, best. How do I decided what is most important each moment? Poop has to be cleaned, I'm sorry but it takes priority. My son whose been home sick for three days, he's important too. Not to mention I haven't had any sleep.....See how I digress. The list, oh the list. It goes on forever. Its funny that I'm not broken. In the past, there have been times I have completely fallen apart. I feel pretty at peace, tired, but at peace. I think there is power in recognizing some things. First, I did read my scriptures today, I walked with the Lord this morning and that set me off right. Next, I chose to go to institute to be spiritually fed. This too lifts me up above despair. Then tonight, I asked my husband for help! It immediately made me feel better. He can't do my schoolwork but he can help me with the food I need to bring tomorrow for the shower. He can help with the kids in the morning. I asked him to be there for me and HE WAS.

So, this leads into (remember I have ADD today). ...We were watching Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End tonight. Toward the end of the movie, Elizabeth and Will are fighting together on the Black Pearl. He asks her to marry him right there in the middle of the chaos. They are dancing on the ship, fighting together, as equals. I had this moment of Aha! That's what I want right there. That kind of relationship. It may sound a little hokey but I don't relate well to some other kinds of love stories. Elizabeth Swann is a pirate, what's not to like about that as a woman. But not only is she a good pirate, she's a good leader. She stands up at one point and inspires the pirates to go to war and Will is looking up at her with such love and admiration. That is how is should work. Often I feel that in my own marriage (although we could use some more work). Dave has that same respect for me and I often don't appreciate it. I don't know that I have a point, except maybe that I'm grateful my husband went to Walmart for me tonight. I'm grateful he never makes me feel less than him, or unworthy to share in the things his income brings. He never cuts me down or picks on me. He supports me in going to school, for my own sake. He values me in a way I don't even know if I understand. I wish every woman could have that kind of love.