Only one Abby pick tonight

I only have one good pic to put up tonight and its about 2 weeks old. Unfortuately, the saying is true that the baby gets jipped in the record department. She looks precious in this little hat (and outfit you can't see) that Uncle Chris and Aunt Mandi sent her. I just love to look at her and drink her in. When she stares at me we have these moments of spirit communication that are just heaven. I keep telling the Lord in my prayers that its too fast, He can slow time, right? Anyway, we are attempting to savor what we can.

The homeschool idea has persisted and become somewhat obsessive. I'm scouring the internet, checking books from the library and deeply pondering and praying over this. The idea to keep my children to myself, to hold them, cherish them and teach and nurture their minds and spirits is intoxicating. My own education journey has been so satisfying and reached depths I wasn't privy to before. I feel myself opening up, flowering into new possibilities. One of which is that it breaks my heart to send my babies away from me. Some would say that is suffocating for a child, for their mother to want them to spend the ENTIRE day at home with her. Or that it is depriving them of what they want which is to go party all day in a classroom with their friends. Frankly, if I try to think like a child going exploring in the woods to find butterfly eggs, or singing at the piano, or playing math facts games with my sister sounds better. Or how about an environment where everyone is loved, no one is less and the spirit is the true teacher. It sounds all utopian and unrealistic but what if it isn't. What if I am really capable of loving and teaching my child more than a stranger and what if he/she benefits more from being uplifted and guided by his/her parents than a stranger? What if as a family we would have more joy, more skills and more harmony than we could being apart all day? Why not? I find myself coming more and more to questions of why do I think this is so weird or strange? What indoctrination about the public school system has caused me to believe that I am unqualified to teach my own children addition and subtraction? I keep thinking of this experience I had when Wesley was a baby. I called my mom one day to ask her if it was ok to feed him carrots I had steamed and put in the blender. I was nervous about feeding him something that had not come from a jar labeled "baby food". What if there was something special in this jar that was not in my carrots I made at home? What if I prepared them wrong? I was so worried that I was not competant to feed my own child. I believe that there is an element of truth in this related to my decision to homeschool. Many people's first reaction to this is how on earth are you going to do it? I don't think that my children will stage a coup and run back to the school. I don't think every day is going to be some beautiful stage of Little Women where the family is neatly gathered to do their sewing telling stories and laughing. I do think that at the end of this school year I will have had a glimpse into the heart of my children. I know that they will know me better, know what is important to me (which may not be all good), they will know the Lord and the scriptures better and they will know themselves, without the labels that are put on them by the school system or their peers. Whether they can be an example of academic excellence is not as relevant to me. I believe that that will come, in our daily routines and in our effort to seek out knowledge and understand the world together. At six and eight years old their job is to be curious, to seek out things that are interesting and fun. They also have the right to be free, to have free time to pursue things that are exciting to them. Jared is fascinated with the human body and chooses to sit with me and study bones and how they work. Ayla wants to learn about butterflies and raise some of her own. There aren't enough hours in the day for them to have a public school experience and for us to have these kinds of times at home. I am aware enough now of how important of a choice that is. It isn't a choice for every parent. But it is for us and we're making it.