What a ride!

School, death, stomach flu, new calling, baby, household etc etc etc. This morning I was having a little pity party for myself. Things are hard, Dave is being a baby about being sick but I have to do all my work when I'm sick, the kids are being uncooperative about schoolwork, I don't have any thing to wear....blah, blah, blah. This evening I am sitting here evaluating my day and I have to say on the whole we did ok. We had painting this morning, reading and math. The kids played outside a bit, Dave was able to rest this morning and I still was able to go to school. Things are not falling apart they are just holding together, in the haphazard way that families do. My days are never the same. I try to make carbon copies of routines and bind them into our minutes and hours but the reality is there are six of us who are all different and unique. Having the kids home and having us be all together is teaching me a lot about that. I'm not the homeschool mom that has a room with all supplies and a neatly ordered schedule in which I'm slapping my yardstick and sternly issuing orders. This isn't what I want it to be. We can worry about integrating back into public school when we are ready, but the truth is the kids kind of set their own rhythm. I have to feed Abby at certain times and one of the children will come and read to me while I'm sitting with her. Today as I laid down with Ayla we did word problems from a book we checked out from the library. I have a project almost ready to begin that is about Egyptian mummies. And we have books about Egypt. We read a story about a cat that was adopted by a sow (mommy pig) and we talked about how the cat could drink the pig's milk because they were both mammals. Learning comes in so many forms. It comes while cooking, while straightening up or while talking at the dinner table. I read my school books in the same manner. I will study at naptime, this is my designated hour, and in the evening when things are quiet, I will try to write. The kids want to have school done early in the day and we are more alert then as well. We have already formed a frame, the bones of a schoolday and I will just add to it as we go along. I don't why I feel like I need to show everyone that I'm really doing it and doing it all so well. Frankly, I just don't care that my bathrooms are not spic and span, they aren't gross. My living room needs a tidy and my bedroom needs an overhaul. But we have clean underwear and my dishes are done. Why is it that the snowball is really made up of such small things? Sometimes I have to remind myself of that.
School tonight was so much fun!. I think I thanked my husband 3 or 4 times for supporting me in this. Writing is such a fun thing for me and being in the poetry class is a way to hone my craft, start exploring what my style really is. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity. It has always been one of those dreams that has had to wait it's turn. I hope now I can be true to it.