Obedience

Seriously, my life is good. My mom gave me a bit of advice, "Make time for your sacred grove. Get up at 5 am every morning and make that time sacred." and also, "Put your rocks in first." Following this counsel is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I feel like when I put my scripture study at the top of my to do list (and my husband participates) I feel like my entire load is lighter. There don't seem to be so many rocks, or maybe there are but I'm so strong I can carry them. Some days (like today) I feel like I could carry a mountain because I'm so connected to that spiritual strength.



The 2008-2009 school year was one of the darkest years of my life. I spent too much time being selfish and angry and prideful. I was showing up to church and other good places but I was hardened to them. One day I went to institute. The Elder and Sister missionary were speaking to us that day. They had just arrived for their assignment to our group.

Sister Green told a story. I will relate it here, I apologize to those who have heard it before.

She explained that one week her and her husband had an incredibly strong prompting that it was time to serve a mission. They had planned to go but they were not ready to retire. They hadn't completed their preparations. Nonetheless, the Spirit urged them, Now is the time. They began to look for a place to buy a smaller home to leave their belongings. In the course of searching they received another prompting....Unencumber. This word was the beginning of selling and giving away most of their earthly possessions. They had garage sales, they gave away furniture and clothing and other items. They unloaded all of their stuff.

The couple began to serve a mission with CES in Ireland. At a conference there, Sister Green went outside to take a break. She was standing against a pillar looking at the temple and the Spirit said, "You've done what I've asked you to do, now how do you feel?"

I have thought about this experience so many time this year. In the moment, I heard this story I was having a very difficult time giving up something I knew I needed to let go of. I realized that it didn't matter how great I thought it was. It didn't matter what I believed this thing could do for me. The Lord had something better. Sister Green said she realized that the way she felt...was that she FELT. She felt more love, more compassion, more joy, more light. She felt. As hard as it was to give up I'm so grateful for the lesson in obedience. Because months later, I FEEL more. I feel more love, more compassion, more joy and have more light in my life than I could possibly have seen in the darkness of thoes times. So, even though the road is still hard, and my path is really thorny (I always seem to choose the prickly one) I have faith that what the Lord has for me is so much better than what I can envision for myself.